THE ‘REST OF THE WORLD’ VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, 
building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the 
winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances 
and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END

THE BRITISH VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, 
building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the 
winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances 
and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and  well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press 
conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that 
in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to
suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace,
Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in
front of the squirrel’s house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural
festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts
a multi cultural choir singing “We Shall overcome”. Ken
Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the
squirrel has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls
for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his
“fair share” and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act,
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel’s taxes
are reassessed.  He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid
to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he
can be socially mobile.
The squirrel’s food is seized and re distributed to the more
needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his
newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old
home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats
who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share
their country of origin with mice. On arrival they have tried to
blow up the airport because of Britain’s apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of 
hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released
because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in 
custody.
Initial moves to then return them to their own country were
abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.
The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people’s
credit cards.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of
the squirrel’s food, though spring is still months away, while
the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn’t
bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs.
Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper’s
drug ‘illness’.

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their
treatment since arrival in UK.  The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.  He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious is set up.  Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain’s multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of
the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to
address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity
and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the
resignation of a minister. The cats are paid a million pounds
each because their rights were infringed when the government
failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the
bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional
percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are
increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they
will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government
funds.

THE END

Since this was written, the squirrel has decided that enough is
enough and has sold up everything he owned and has sodded off to Spain!